Three Failed IUI’s, Two Failed Rounds of IVF, and Three Miracle IVF Babies: Jenica’s Battle With Infertility
“People would look at me and I know I looked just fine but, in my heart, there was sorrow that couldn’t be seen.”
Jenica married her husband, Tyler in May 2008 and stopped taking birth control in June 2013 when they were ready to start their family. When they didn’t get pregnant right away, Jenica started monitoring with ovulation trackers and thermometers and after a year of trying naturally with no success, Jenica called a local fertility clinic. Within a month of that first phone call in the summer of 2014, Jenica started infertility treatments and started a journey that was filled with more challenge and heart ache than she first imagined.
STARTING INFERTILITY TREATMENTS
The initial round of diagnostic testing showed Jenica’s fallopian tubes were clear, but her thyroid was a little low and her husband had a low sperm count. Their first treatment was a trigger shot to help time Jenica time her ovulation and when that didn’t work, they Jenica started taking Femara (more commonly known as Letrozole). The hope was that it could help increase the output of follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and assist in the development of a mature follicle, followed by ovulation of the egg. Jenica tried the Letrozole for two months, again with no success. Jenica and her husband moved forward with three intrauterine inseminations (IUIs) to help give the sperm a better chance of fertilizing an egg and they were still left struggling.
After finding no success with drugs alone or with IUIs, Jenica and her husband made the decision to move forward with IVF. They went into it incredibly hopeful but when Jenica reflects on the start of her IVF journey, she also feels she was naïve about the process. When she started Lupron shots in her stomach during the first cycle, she was pleasantly surprised they didn’t hurt after all she had read and heard. Up next were the Menopur and Follistim and they were a different story. She had heard another IVF patient call Menopur Satan’s potion and after experiencing it herself, Jenica thought it was the perfect name. It burned when she injected it and felt like fire when going into her stomach. She quickly found herself in the kitchen crying, “I don’t want to do this to myself anymore…it hurts, and I can’t do this.”
FIRST EGG RETRIEVAL AND THREE VIABLE EMBRYOS
Jenica found the strength to continue through the pain and discomfort and got through three shots every day for two more weeks. Her first egg retrieval was on a Thursday and only one person at her work knew she was even doing treatment. Up to that point, the whole process and experience felt too personal to share with others.
The night before her retrieval, Jenica received a call from the clinic nurse while she was at a work conference and Jenica was told the exact time to give herself the trigger shot, which is administered 12 hours prior to the actual retrieval. All went according to plan and when she woke up after the retrieval, she learned they had retrieved 36 eggs! Jenica was crampy and bloated after the procedure and it took almost three days before she could walk comfortably again, but from those 36 eggs, they had three viable embryos.
“She knew that seeing her period was sending her back to the start when just a few days ago, they had taken a picture with their embryo, hopeful that their infertility ended with that moment and that picture. ”
BACK TO THE START – THE FIRST EMBRYO TRANSFER DIDN’T WORK
Jenica and her husband decided to freeze two of the three embryos and then do a fresh embryo transfer with one of the embryos. They took a picture with their first transferred embryo to document their first “family photo” and remember the sweet moment that was filled with so much hope!
The dreaded two week wait began, and toward the end, Jenica hosted a Valentine’s party. When everyone left the party, she went to the bathroom and discovered that her period had started. At that exact time, she could hear a Coldplay song playing in the background and the lyrics fit so perfectly with what she was experiencing in that painful moment: “Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard. I’m going back to the start.” Jenica immediately started crying.
It wasn’t just the physical pain that was so hard, it was the emotional pain that Jenica had carried throughout this process. She knew that seeing her period was sending her back to the start when just a few days ago, they had taken a picture with their embryo, hopeful that their infertility ended with that moment and that picture.
READY TO TRY AGAIN - SECOND EMBRYO TRANSFER
When Jenica and her husband were ready to try again, the protocol for the frozen embryo transfer was different than what she had done previously with the fresh transfer. To start, the medications were different and there were lots of shots in the butt and the needles were long! Tyler had to help her administer the shots and when he was out of town, her sister and friend would come over to help. By the end of the month, Jenica’s butt was covered in dots and bruised from all the shots she took.
The transfer itself went smoothly and after the two week wait, Jenica was excited that she still had not gotten her period. She went in for her blood test and by the afternoon learned that her human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) score was higher than normal. However, it was only half as high as it should be if she were pregnant. Technically she was pregnant but with a lower HCG level, it could mean the pregnancy was not viable.
Jenica went back in two days later for another blood test and her HCG was still low and had not doubled over the two days, as it typically does when pregnant. Just to confirm, Jenica did one more blood test and on the third test, her HCG had started to go down. It was confirmed that the embryos did not implant successfully, and Jenica’s battle with infertility was not ending with this transfer. At that moment, Jenica felt defeated and exhausted after all they had been through, knowing they would have to start over again.
MISCARRYING ON AN AIRPLANE
The timing worked out where the very next day after learning the pregnancy was not viable, Jenica and her husband were leaving on a trip to China. In many ways, Jenica was excited because it was allowing her to escape from the heaviness of life and the disappointment she felt in her heart. However, it was during the travel day to China that Jenica started to miscarry.
They were on their way between planes and Jenica realized she did not feel well. They got on their plane and while they were waiting to take off, Jenica went to the airplane bathroom and realized she was bleeding heavily…she was starting to miscarry.
Jenica and her husband decided at that point to take a few months off from infertility treatment, from the shots, and the countless doctor’s appointments. Jenica wanted to enjoy her life again without the stress of treatments and truly allow herself and her body to relax. She wanted to focus on taking care of her body, ridding it of toxins, and eating less processed food and more organic produce and meats. She wanted to do all she could to be a supportive home for a little one to grow but also be a supportive home for herself.
THIRD IVF ROUND MANTRA: BE BOLD!
When Jenica and her husband were ready to try for their third round of IVF, they made the decision to switch doctors. When the new doctor hugged Jenica, she could feel that they meant it and it brought both comfort and hope to her, as she jumped back into the process.
Jenica started the third transfer feeling differently than her first two transfers. Part of it was because she had a better idea of what to expect physically but emotionally, she felt freer this cycle! She was writing letters to her future child and posting them on her blog, and she was also sharing openly with her co-workers about her doctor’s appointments rather than trying to hide the process she was enduring while trying to juggle work life. She didn’t feel like she was living a double life during this third cycle.
To help motivate her each day of the cycle, Jenica set up her guest bathroom as her ‘drug lab’ and had a sign above the door, “Jenica’s Drug Lab: Makin’ Babies Since 2015.” It made her smile every day she walked into the bathroom to administer another round of shots and that small shift made the difference in how she approached this cycle compared to the first two.
SPEED BUMP: REMOVING TWO POLYPS BEFORE RETRIEVAL
Prior to retrieval, Jenica’s doctor did a standard ultrasound of her uterus and found two polyps that needed to be removed before moving forward. It was a speed bump that they could not avoid or ignore. They did a hysteroscopy to remove the polyps and to bring comfort during the procedure, Jenica wore her “Be Bold” bracelet and necklace to keep her mantra in focus. It was the perfect way to remind herself of the words fueling her through this round.
“Her 10pm trigger time came around and she sat down on the floor of the stadium and started mixing the drug so that she didn’t miss her time window but also didn’t miss time living her life in between shots and appointments. ”
SECOND RETRIEVAL AND OVARIAN HYPER STIMULATION
When Jenica started Lupron shots for this retrieval, the shots made her incredibly nauseous, with whole body aches included. By day three of the shots, each shot brought her to tears and her ovaries felt like they could pop out of her abdomen. When Jenica went in for routine bloodwork and an ultrasound a few days prior to egg retrieval day, they found 30 follicles and considered this was likely the reason she was feeling so bloated.
When it was time to administer the trigger shot, the clinic wanted Jenica to only do half a shot because her estrogen was already incredibly high, and they didn’t want her to hyper stimulate. Jenica was scheduled to give herself the half trigger shot at 10pm, which coincided with the time that she was at the Brigham Young University (BYU) Marriot Center for a game. Her 10pm trigger time came around and she sat down on the floor of the stadium and started mixing the drug so that she didn’t miss her time window but also didn’t miss time living her life in between shots and appointments.
The next morning, Jenica arrived for her retrieval at 9:30am and they retrieved 41 eggs. Out of the 41 eggs, 38 were mature, 30 fertilized, and they were able to freeze nine healthy embryos. There was one complication with this retrieval, and it was that Jenica ended up experiencing ovarian hyperstimulation (OHSS) and her ovaries reached the size of kiwis. Even still, Jenica continued with the round and took a Z-pack antibiotic for five days and Medrol for another few days to help prevent inflammation. She inserted Endometrin, a form of progesterone, three times a day to help her uterine lining receive and nourish a fertilized egg.
Jenica was terrified when it came time to transfer the frozen embryo because she knew what it felt like if the transfer failed. She struggled to hold hope but also guard herself from the pain of a failed transfer. Each shot was a struggle, both emotionally and physically and Tyler would show her pictures of babies to remind her why she was going through with this. It didn’t help that for this cycle, the fertility drugs made her feel anxious and she found herself battling thoughts of the worst possible outcomes.
TRANSFER DAY: I’M GOING TO GET PREGNANT!
Transfer day arrived and it was very different than the first. Because she had openly shared with her co-workers, Jenica walked out of her office on retrieval day saying, “Bye guys! I’m going to get pregnant!” A sentence that not many people say out loud in general but one she was proud to share so freely.
They transferred two embryos and the tortuous 10 day wait began. Tyler would talk to Jenica’s belly with encouragement, “come on little guy; stick to your mama!” and she prayed to her Heavenly Father saying she’d be okay with the journey He wanted them to take…but she really wanted a baby!
On the day Jenica went in for bloodwork to determine if she was pregnant, she went in at 11:45am and by 1:30pm her favorite nurse’s name was popping up on her phone while she was sitting at her work desk. She picked up her cellphone and was frozen in her chair with all office eyes on her, waiting to hear the news: Was she pregnant or not? And then Jenica heard the words she had been hoping and praying to hear for so long…She was pregnant! The tears started flowing and she had to call the nurse back because she couldn’t process any other information than those three magical words! Jenica called her husband and shared that he was going to be a dad and then started calling the rest of her family to share the incredible news. Jenica would soon learn that she wasn’t pregnant with one miracle but two! They were having twins!
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE READY TO TRY FOR BABY #3?
Jenica and her husband settled into life with two healthy, beautiful children and once they came out of the blur that newborn and toddler twins can be, they started to think about whether they wanted to try for a third baby. They knew their path to baby three would include the transfer one of their frozen embryos and Jenica debated whether to try for about a year and a half. The twins were not the easiest pregnancy for Jenica and she developed preeclampsia that forced her to deliver at 32 weeks, followed by having Epstein-Barr virus immediately after delivery.
It was after carrying her 4.5-year-old daughter one night up the stairs for a bath, and hearing her daughter ask when she was going to have another baby that Jenica knew she had received the answer to her questions and prayers about another baby. She was ready to try.
When Jenica met with her fertility doctor again for the first appointment, he walked into the exam room and immediately said, “Let’s make a baby!” They immediately made a plan that started with a water ultrasound where they found a few polyps again, like the start of her previous cycle. They also found cysts on Jenica’s ovaries, and it was after that discovery Jenica decided to press pause on moving forward with the transfer. She wanted to enjoy the summer with her twins, and she wanted to feel good for the holidays.
They waited until the following January to start the protocol for baby #3 and in February they transferred a frozen embryo. During the 10-day waiting period, Jenica had a planned trip for work and while on the trip everyone was asking if she had taken a pregnancy test yet. She typically waited until the blood test at the clinic but talked herself into get a pregnancy test and she barely walked out of the bathroom when two lines quickly appeared! She FaceTimed Tyler and he was shocked that they were pregnant again! A few days later, her first HCG blood test at the clinic confirmed Jenica was pregnant and they welcomed their sweet, healthy baby boy into the world nine months later!
All the gestures of kindness reminded Jenica that she had a village of support ready to lift her up and it’s what helped her stay positive and happy during a challenging time.
A SUPPORT SYSTEM TO GET THROUGH INFERTILITY
Above all else, Jenica believes God watched over her while she walked the path of infertility in the form of supportive family and friends. She received so many sweet words of compassion for what they were going through and knew there were many hearts aching on their behalf, all of which helped her not feel so alone. Friends left “Happy Baskets” on Jenica’s porch after she shared how much she was dreading her shots because of how much they hurt, she was welcomed home to a dozen pink roses, and she received baskets full of IVF survival essentials from another friend. There were countless emails and texts rooting them on and dinners delivered from family members on particularly hard days, like an egg retrieval.
All these gestures of kindness reminded Jenica that she had a village of support ready to lift her up and it’s what helped her stay positive and happy during a challenging time. Because she shared her story so openly through her blog, Jenica also received hundreds of messages and supportive comments from individuals she didn’t even know. Each comment reminded her of how good people are and changed her perspective on the true power and impact that a single sentence can have on an individual.
Jenica found through hardship that you can find joy if you choose to see it. And for Jenica, she walked her battle through infertility and was able to see so much beauty in others through their kind gestures, prayers, and love.
INFERTILITY COMES WITH AN EMOTIONAL BURDEN
There were days of Jenica’s infertility journey where she felt incredibly low and had no kind words for herself. She knew those feelings were the effects of the drugs she was taking that purposely impacted her hormones month after month, but it didn’t make it easier. She would remind herself that she wasn’t ungrateful when she felt sad, scared, or wrapped in doubt. Rather, she was human! You can feel fear and sadness while also being grateful for the opportunity to get one step closer to your hopes, even when those steps are incredibly difficult.
It's also easy to get ahead of yourself when walking the infertility path and you can instantly be clouded by worry. You worry about every aspect of your future the minute you start your infertility journey and Jenica would find herself worrying about each step of the process, whether the cycle would work, or if it would work, if she would miscarry again. The thoughts could be all consuming, but she would try to remind herself of the following: “God has a plan for me. You are learning, growing, and experiencing what he wants you to experience. He loves you and He’s watching over you.”
“If you are going through infertility struggles yourself, please know that you are not alone in this boat. Grab an oar, and we can row through this battle together.”
WHAT I WISH I HAD KNOWN ABOUT INFERTILITY TREATMENT
One of the most shocking things to Jenica was that she assumed the infertility treatments would work right away and so she wasn’t concerned or filled with doubt at the beginning of her journey. She thought that if she did an IUI or went forward with IVF, it would automatically result in a positive pregnancy and healthy baby. Walking through three failed IUIs and two failed rounds of IVF was incredibly shocking for Jenica and made her aware that you can follow all the protocols and utilize all the technology suggested by the doctor and it doesn’t necessarily give automatic results you are hoping for.
FOR THOSE STILL WALKING THE PATH OF INFERTILITY
Jenica wants others to know they are not alone on their journey.
“Infertility can feel very isolating sometimes, but I don’t think we are meant to go through really challenging things, like infertility, alone. Communicate effectively what you need, and seek out help through a coach, friend(s), therapist, or whoever that is for you so you can get the support you need.”
“If you are going through infertility struggles yourself, please know that you are not alone in this boat. Grab an oar, and we can row through this battle together.”
While Jenica currently has three miracle IVF babies in her arms, she has made it her mission to provide support for those still walking their own infertility path. You can follow her on Instagram @jenicaparcell for inspiration (including home and fashion inspo) and you can listen to her podcast, ‘Fearless Infertility’ where she hopes to help others create peace, joy, and confidence while battling infertility. You can listen to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you find your favorite podcasts and here are three episodes Jenica recommends starting with: “How to Stop Comparing”; “The Power of ‘And’”; and “One Thing to Do Today”. Jenica also provides support through fertility coaching and is always eager to help walk alongside another infertility warrior.